Everytime I Reconcile

A familiar emotion
Hits at the gut
Time after time.

I thought
I had
Reconciled.

But here it is
Once more
Never far.

Wrenching out
Once more
That silent scream.

Holding on
To the mundane
Stoic and resolute.

The only way
I know
To deal.

So ineffective. Always.

Meant to be

Sleep eludes me,

Or maybe, I resist sleep,

I cradle that thought

Into a dream-awake state.

In that slumber

I follow a path,

Never quite knowing

Where it takes me.

I seek the wilderness

To find myself,

Knowing that staying lost
Is how I was meant to be.